Breaking! Monsanto just announced they are buying the Luxor in Las Vegas to use as a distribution hub for GMO corn up and down the West Coast. Monsanto is up $1.43 in after-hours trading on the NYSE.
Facing allegations of making up his past, the Ben Carson campaign today released a security camera still they claim is from a childhood incident where a young Ben Carson attempted to stab another child in a fit of rage. His campaign manager said “I hope this puts to bed any doubts about the veracity of Ben Carson’s past and proves that when push comes to shove, Ben Carson will cut a bitch.”